Scared

Here it is almost 1am and I am sitting in my master bathroom writing this so that I don't wake my husband. I have cried for nearly two hours from fear and remorse. I found out today that because I was terminated, I will not get the nearly six weeks of pay from vacation time that I had anticipated. Now we are do not know how we are going to make it until I start a job and get a steady paycheck. We have until the end of the month to make two car payments and our mortgage. We don't how we we will make all of them. Unless something changes between now and the last day of the month, we will loose something. We are going to pay my car payment and the mortgage. We are turning the car payment to my husband's SUV to God. We are praying to Him to make something happen so that we can keep everything we have through this difficult time.

Today alone I applied for over 50 jobs including fast food, housekeeping, front desk work, jobs in my field, and jobs outside of my field. I immediately got rejections on some jobs, but also got one immediate call back for an interview on Wednesday morning. My husband took a job and starts on Monday, but while he was in his orientation today, he got a call that he got another job. He is seriously considering doing both jobs full time and I am so scared for him. He would work job 1 from 6pm-3am Mon-Fri and the second one from 7am-4pm Mon-Fri. I do not see how that would be physically possible for him. I feel so bad that he is even considering this. I feel that all of this is my fault and that I am worthless because I don't have a job.

In an attempt to try to save our belongings, I am reposting our furniture on craigslist tomorrow morning and we are having a large yard sale next Saturday morning. I have started doing surveys from Opinion Outpost to get some money to help with gasoline and groceries.

I am hoping that God pulls out something amazing for us between now and July 31, 2011. He would be the only person that could save us from this disaster that we created for ourselves. Boy have we ever learned our lesson about fiances and being godly people. Please lift us up in prayers because we need them more than ever.