Fair warning: It's long and rambling, but I need advice!! Help me, please.
I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn't think it would be so soon. Today as I was cleaning out the fridge, freezer, and cabinets I get a call from my hubby at work. He states that he just finished lunch (sandwich, chips, cookies, and a soda), but is still hungry. I asked him what he would like me to do about it. He said either he can go get something or I could bring him a snack. I told him I had all the food on our counters and it would be a while, so he said he'd just run and get some grub. I said it was fine just make sure it was cheap and he said okay. I went about my cleaning and forgot about our conversation. After the food was put away, I made a grocery list for the next month and went grocery shopping. I came home, put the food away, and paid bills (cable, electric, & food). Afterwards I went online to check the bank and found an $8 charge from today for taco bell!! I was boiling mad. I decided to wait until he came home until I said anything, but I planned carefully what I would say so I wouldn't blow.
When he walked in the door everything I planned to say went out the window. Essentially I blew up at him. I feel bad for the way I handled it. Unfortunately it needed to happen, but I could have went about it differently. However, I do not think it made any flipping difference because as he was ready himself for job 2 he asked if I had any ones so he could buy a soda at work (he has canned soda at home, but it's not the mt. dew he loves). I bit my lip and handed him a buck, smiled, and kissed him goodbye. AHHH!!! Help!?
Before getting into the whole mindset of debt repayment and saving, my hubby and I had a big talk about our hopes/dreams. We appeared to be on the same page, but now the more I think about it, I think he just wanted to go along with whatever I want. He's always been this way, so I don't know why I'm surprised, but yet I am. I need advice!
I truly do not think he really cares if we are debt free or have savings. He lives in the moment. When he wants something, he gets it. He wants to go out to eat and buy things for us because he thinks we DESERVE it. He uses excuses like: he works 2 jobs, I take care of the house all week and cook, they may sell out of it, or there's nothing to do at home.
A great example is this weekend...On Saturday my SIL had a new baby so we planned to visit him and then come home to watch the nascar race. Since he works til 5am, he didn't get up til 1pm. We got ready and I asked what he'd like to eat. He said we'd just pick up something. I said I could make quick sandwiches. He said no, lets just grab something on the road and save time. We grabbed Arbys at $20 and then went to the hospital. We went to the hospital and visited. My BIL needed to be taken to best buy, so we offered because we know the area the best. Our older nephew came with us and asked for ice cream. I agreed to take him to Mcdonald's to get him a cone (I was thinking I could handle .79), but when we get there my hubby get's him a mcflurry and one for himself ($4). We went to pick up the BIL and back to the hospital to drop them off. We then headed home and it was already 7pm and hubby was hungry. He said we'd just run to the store and pick up something quick, so I'm think we'll spend $10ish. He grabs chicken fries (i'd rather starve than eat it!) so I grab freshly made sushi rolls ($4.69) and head to register. On the way, he grabs 4 cases of rc soda because they were 4/$10, 2 one liter sodas bc they were 2/$2, & chips/salsa/dip (for the race). It all came to $31. I was mad, but didn't say anything. We went home so he could watch the race.
On Sunday we went to church so I could teach children's church (we had a little 6 y/o get saved!!!). After church we planned to head straight to the hospital so we could see the new nephew, but he wanted to stop at walmart to get them some diapers because they nonchalantly mentioned that they needed to get newborn ones and he took it upon himself to get. I was mad at him, but just said get the smallest pack. Afterwards we planned to go to Outback because we had a coupon and gift card, but my MIL called to offer us a free meal at another restaurant so we went there (yeah free food). We then headed to the hospital and while we were there he gave them the diapers and said "I would have gotten Daniel these two really cute outfits, but i knew Christy would have have killed me." Yes, I would have hurt him for that, but I wanted to kill him for that comment!! After we left we were supposed to head back home before church, but he said he needed to get new workboots so we headed to shoe carnival. Yeah he needed the shoes, so I asked if we could stay under $50 and he said he could. Once inside I wandered around because I hate that place, but quickly became bored so I went to find hubby. He had picked out a $70 pair of work boots and a $60 pair of black dress shoes...because he said his black church shoes were looking rough. I started to veto it, but he looked upset and started talking about how hard he works. So I shut up and he bought them. Off we went to church. It was about 530 when we pulled into church only to find it packed. He went in to get a program that said tonight was a special music program that started at 5 and there would be no church service so we left. As we were leaving I asked if we could pick up a paper for the coupons and he said yes. He went to a gas station and got one and came out with the newspaper and 2 sodas. He said he called in a pick up order to Applebees so we went to pick it up ($21) and then headed home. At home we ate, did laundry, kitty litter, cleaned the turtles, watched tv, and then he went to bed while I was on the phone with my friend trying to recover my iphone that crashed right before bed.
It's my fault that I don't speak up, but at this point I don't know what to do. Help I need advice.